When a man loves a woman

Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is worth more than precious rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She will not hinder him but help him all her life.

She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs with no fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and kindness is the rule when she gives instructions. She carefully watches all that goes on in her household and does not have to bear the consequences of laziness.

Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: "There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!"

Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised. Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.

Proverbs 31:10-12, 25-31

These words from God's Holy Bible are a reflection of the most beautiful woman I know, that would be my wife. She is everything that today's secularized, liberated, decieved, and deluted women despise. Instead she epitomizes everything that women were originally designed for. She is a real and true woman. A woman who has discovered the true essence of love, family, and sacrifice. My wife realise's that love is not some "euphoric" feeling like when you first meet, but that it is an action. Love is not about "ME" it is about "YOU". It is about sacrifice.

When it came to the decision of having children my wife put any of her own personal dreams and ambitions aside to raise them in the home. Having children and paying someone else to raise them simply made no sense to either of us. Moments like baby's first step or first word were witnessed and shared with me by her, not the daycare worker/sitter. The children were always well rested, fed, and getting to know their parent more and more each day. Because of her role in the home we have a very close and complete family. Our children feel very secure and stable. On a number of occasion's where my wife would need a weekend getaway with some girlfriends, I would step into her role of feeding the kid's (usually take out because I burnt everything), cleaning(house & clothes), bathing and dressing the kid's (usually had to do this more then once a day, kid's can get messy real quick), grocery shopping (this was scary as I usually just got lost), and the numerous other task's that she would perform on a regular basis. She would do this daily for the last 10 years making it look so effortless. Yet leave me alone for a weekend and I was a walking disaster.

What was the cost for her to raise our children during those critical and impressionable years? (Remember, once they are gone, you can't have them back) A smaller home instead of 2,000 square feet of walls I do not really need? One 4 cylinder sedan instead of three gas guzzling SUV's just because...? A small beat up old Harley instead of the big old windbagger's? How about her dignity, self esteem, self worth, and feminity? She laughs at women who somehow feel they are robbed of these feminine qualities because raising their own children is supposed to be a sign of weakness. That a stay at home mom is "supposedly" unfufilled in her life. When I compare this to the immeasurable role and importance of how my children have turned out...there actually is no comparison at all. The cost is priceless. I am well pleased that my wife was there to share the memories not only with me but the kid's themselves. Never once has she ever uttered a word of regret but instead has always been very confident and fulfilled in her role in the home. She put our children and husband ahead of herself and today that Proverb rings true as my children stand and bless her and I as her husband praise her when I declare "There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!"

Because of this I FIRMLY believe that there is not a single career driven woman out there today who could hold a candle to my wife. NOT EVEN CLOSE!

Yet in today's western culture it has become ingrained into today's women (no I do not mean every single one of them) that a "true and successful" woman is somehow defined as being career oriented. She is the one wearing her power suit with briefcase in one hand while dropping baby/toddler off at daycare with a bottle of fake breast milk. She is simply "too busy" to give baby the required nutrients that naturally comes from the breast. In fact, so as not to incovience mom during birth, a ceasaran was planned ahead well in advance. It's then off to work for that all important career while somebody else get's paid to raise her children and instill their moral values and choice's in to their kid's rather then themselve's. By the time mom pick's up baby/toddler she is just too exhausted from giving herself to others all day that cooking a decent meal for the family is just not an option. It's either frozen quick fixes or take out, at least most of the time. Time for the kid's? What time? Mom doesn't usually walk in the door until 5:30/6:00pm. She is physically wiped, mentally stressed, and spiritually sucked out. The last thing she wants is to deal with kid's hopping on her lap. This usually causes a verbal blast towards them about mom needing some time to herself. The kid's crime...wanting to spend time with her and share their exciting moments of the day. After supper it is bath time, a short story, and off to bed so mom can have her down time to recoup in order to give all her energies to other people the following day.

Where is the time for a relationship with your own children when a life is lived like this? What about the husband? I can only assure you that all of her stresses are "his fault" even if they really are not. This is what society calls a "successful" woman?

If this is the world view of a successful woman they can have her. I prefer my God's version..she is written about in Proverbs 31. She is my wife. Until next time...